there are so many disgustingly disappointing people out there

but you never expect one of them to be your friend.

presumptions set you up for the biggest falls.

it’s easy to let misplaced trust blind you.

pride tells you that you’re always right

even when you’re wrong.

and there is no worse time to be misguided then when you have a broken heart

that is not ready to know any more truth.

it’s hard to explain missing people i hardly know.

the people i’ve met and had a few great memories with

but the timing wasn’t right

and it ended.

in most circumstances i just let it go

but there are a few people out there i wish i would have tried harder with.

maybe then this city wouldn’t always feel so empty

and i’d have more reasons to stay.

burnt out with no way out

in sight

i see nothing but white walls and heavy eyes

from lack of sleep

i never sleep

i never dream

i want to love and be loved but these days

love seems cheap

i am left to work these troubles out

alone

with no solution

in sight.

i am left

alone

lost

and blind.

there are artists

and then there are imitators.

artists create what hasn’t yet been seen because there is a desire, a drive, inside of them to make these things that they do not yet understand and prefect them until they do.

imitators see and then do because the desire inside of them is to be noticed and to receive credit.

artists strive for understanding.

imitators stive for acknowledgment.

that’s why so many people make me mad. just because they can recreate what those before them have done does not mean that they can create on a level that is worthy of acknowledgment. and they need to go do something else before all the artists starve.

i don’t want to be seen or heard 

i don’t want to feel a thing

if the highs have these lows waiting i’d rather be numb.

i’d rather never love again.